I thought I would be remiss if I didn’t discuss this topic (and my husband suggested it ), but I think there is an interesting dynamic that may be occurring for immigrant families during the US economic crisis.

For instance, many immigrants provide financial support to family in their countries of origin. As I heard one journalist put it, “when the United States sneezes, other countries develop pneumonia”, so if we’re feeling a squeeze here it’s only worse in other countries. This can create an added pressure for immigrant families who may be finding it more difficult to maintain the same level of support and make ends meet at home.

I also think that during this perfect storm, we are forced to look at some of our comforts and some of the expectations we have by virtue of living in this country (i.e. acquiring large amounts of debt). We may also see the fragile state of developing countries and how they have more at stake right now than we realize.

So my first question is: How are you handling the crisis as it relates to your family here and abroad? Another question is for parents who may not have families who need their financial assistance in their countries of origin. Are you using this economic situation to teach your children about poverty and/or financial responsibility? If so, how? If not, do you think that it’s inappropriate to discuss these things with children?

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Not really.

I was fortunate to grow up with many aunts and uncles, but not because my parents had a lot of siblings (although I do have five uncles on my mother’s side), but because all adults were referred to as Aunt So-and-so and Uncle So-and-so; whether or not they were related to my parents.

When I think back, this was actually the first Haitian cultural norm that I attempted to reject. When I was six years-old, I even went as far as attempting to call my uncle by his first name. After letting it slide a couple times, he quickly reminded me that he was my uncle and I needed to put that word before saying his name. After that, I simply accepted this tradition and avoided calling any non-Haitian adults by their names.

All was well with my greeting skills until my daughter came along. Without realizing it, I would refer to adults by their first names around her (i.e. “Go give Susie a hug” as opposed to “Go give Aunt Susie a hug”). Then one day, a friend of mine politely corrected me by saying “You’re going to make her never call me Auntie”. I immediately had a flashback of my conversation with my uncle and understood.  I am now much more cognizant of this sign of respect that Haitians have to come expect.

So, if your culture has the same norm do you expect your children to observe it here in the US? Is the expectation only for adults with the same cultural background? If so, how do you help your child(ren) differentiate?

Also, if your culture has another way to show respect when addressing adults, please share.

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