No, it’s not you – they just like to stare
For people coming from North American cultures, it is often hard to get used to what can feel like
opposite cultural norms in other places. I’m going to talk about two – personal space and staring.
I think that the whole personal space phenomenon only exists within the US borders (Canada may be included, too). For most other people, standing at arms distance to speak with someone is unheard of – much less practiced. For instance, in most Spanish and French speaking countries, it is customary to greet people, even for the first time, with a kiss. Right there you eliminate the possibility of keeping a “safe” distance. Once that barrier has been breached, it is likely that the rest of your conversation will be held at a very close proximity. The funny thing is, when I am in cultures with this norm, I’m perfectly fine. But, if someone dares to try the same thing while I’m in the states, I am practically offended. It’s like my mind shifts its expectations depending on the geographic location.
As for staring, it can also feel like an invasion of personal space. I remember going to Haiti on vacation as a teenager and felt so self-conscious because people kept staring at me. Contrary to American culture where when someone is caught doing this they immediately feel shame, you can actually have a staring contest (which you will surely lose) with Haitians. They are not at all bothered by being caught staring – nor do they feel the need to explain why they’re doing it. I find Venezuelans to be similar – although, they try to be a bit more discrete. It’s a good thing I’ve already shifted my norms 
Photo credits: Marc Shandro and B@man
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Tags: Cultural Assimilation, Cultural Dilemmas, Cultural Norms, Culture, Expatriates, Haiti, Immigrants, Venezuela, Venezuelan Culture
It was nice to read your post since I have experienced this from the other side. I have had to adjust to the distance and the o touching. I come from a very friendly, touchy culture and we tend to kiss when saying hello, yes sometimes when meeting for the first time, and here in the US I have to keep my distance. I tool a while for me to adjust, and it takes me a while to adjust to the hugging and kissing when I go back home.
Great blog.
Di
Thank you for giving this perspective. I never thought about how difficult it would be adjust to NOT keeping a distance. On either side, I'm always conscience of not making people feel bad for their cultural traditions. I have found that even when someone is unexpectedly speaking close or touching, I don't wince or move away. May I ask what your culture is (that's the nosy American in me)?
Latinos are even nosier….I am from latin America and I actually lived in Caracas for several years. I read your post about Parque del Este and it took me back in time. The school I was in would take us there on field trips. I miss the friendliness of the people there, and the bakeries. It pains me to see how much traoubles they are in now. What brought you there? if you don't mind me asking…See I can me very nosy too
Lol. My husband was transferred here for work – he's a diplomat. I can attest to the people still being very friendly and the abundance of great bakeries. I haven't been to other Latin American countries yet, but from what I've seen, Venezuelans really live life to the fullest. I'm trying to learn some of their habits
. Do you ever come back to visit?
It's not just an American thing, I live in England and it's considered pretty rude to stare or go into someone's personal space (which is nearly 1 mile in diameter). I've lived in other places and whenever I am back in London, if anybody breaches my personal space (maybe a tourist that's come up to me to ask for directions) it completely throws me and I have to take a step back! But when I am in other places without this whole personal space issue, I'm not so bothered about it.
It's definitely something you pick up from your environment.
You know what, I should probably revise this post to include Anglophone, as well as Germanic countries. From what I understand, the “personal space” expectation is very common in these places, as well. Thanks for the insight!