How come he gets to go the doctor?
This is a conversation that I had with my 7 year-old the other day.
Me: You have to eat your breakfast quickly this morning because we’re going out.
Daughter: Where are we going?
Me: We’re taking your brother to the doctor.
Daughter: Why?
Me: Because his eye is swollen.
After about two minutes…
Daughter: I remember one time in Florida my eye was swollen and you didn’t take me to the doctor.
Me: I don’t remember that.
Daughter: Yes, and remember you gave me ice to put on it.
Me: *Remembering* Oh yeah, now I remember.
Daughter: Well, I didn’t get to go to the doctor, how come he gets to go?
At this point, I’m feeling torn between how a Haitian mom would handle this and how an American mom would handle this. I know that my mother would have stopped me somewhere after she asked me why we were taking him to the doctor and when I brought up my swollen eye incident. She would’ve given me this look of “You’re being disrespectful.” And if I had the misfortune of not picking up on the first cue, she would’ve scolded me in a way that felt worse than being sent to my room.
I assume the American mom would tell her that she was just as special/important as her brother and the next time she had a swollen eye, we would definitely take her to the doctor. I, quite frankly, am irritated by my daughter’s reasoning. At almost seven years-old, I think she should be comfortable in her position as older sister and no longer feel threatened by the new kid in the house. I have to remind myself that she is a VERY sensitive child and her reasoning is often dictated by her emotions.
Me: You had a swollen eye for one night that went away with ice. He has had swelling for two days now. We are not discussing this anymore, now hurry up and finish your breakfast so you don’t make us late.
I’d like to think I have compromised between the two cultures 
Tags: American Culture, Cultural Adaptation, Cultural Dilemmas, Haitian Culture, Haitian-American in Venezuela, Parenting, Social Norms
I think in most cases sibling rivalry continues until kids are about 30, and then they just become friends. At least this was my experience, and what I told my kids at school when they used to complain about fighting with their brothers and sisters.
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I hope that’s the case with them. For now, the older one seems to have the most issues. Even though my son is in the midst of terrible two’s, he is very protective of his big sister.