Taking responsibility and teaching it
If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders. ~Abigail Van Buren
When I was 8 and my sister was 12, my mother would leave us home alone with my sister in charge. Though this may sound crazy to some people nowadays, it had a positive impact on my sister’s maturity. Granted, it was only for short periods of time – while running errands, etc. – but, nothing bad ever happened. I am always saying that each child is different (one size fits all parenting rarely works), so just because it worked for my sister and I doesn’t mean that I in turn would’ve been ready at 12 years-old to babysit a younger sibling.
My soon-to-be 8 year-old daughter is responsible for brushing her teeth, eating breakfast in a timely fashion, getting dressed and ensuring all the things she needs for school are in her backpack. There are good days and there are bad, but I want her to start learning accountability for her actions. If she doesn’t take care of business as she should, there are repercussions.
Even while writing this, I struggle with the feeling that I’m being too harsh. In the picture above taken in Malaysia, the little girl is not only responsible for her sibling, she’s also ensuring that her family has drinking water for the day. Now that is a harsh reality. The thing is, I think that this situation – which is occurs every day all over the world – will make her all the more resilient. Should her financial circumstances improve, she will be much more appreciative of what those born with money take for granted.
I guess as a parent you’re always teetering between what’s too strict and what will put your children on the path to delinquency. We are very fortunate that I don’t have to place the weight of the world on my kids because our livelihood depends on my daughter marrying into the right family or my son getting a better education than her so he can later support us. Because of all the luxuries we have been afforded, I think it’s necessary to continuously place a little more weight until they are all of the following: trustworthy, conscientious and dependable.
After all, isn’t that what a responsible parent does?
Tags: Cultural Norms, Culture, Haitian Culture, Haitian-American in Venezuela, Immigrants, Parenting, Words to Live by
