The past few weeks have been all about getting used to early mornings again and of course the obligatory parent/teacher meetings (I think we called them “open house” when I was growing up). During the meeting for my daughter, who is in 4th grade now, I noticed something strange…

The teacher was going over the curriculum and the weekly schedule for assignments. She also gave an overview on each subject, as well as how she was going to evaluate them. Every time she mentioned a schedule, I saw parents’ heads go down to write. That’s when I noticed that the majority of them had notepads. What?! You’re taking notes at a parents orientation…for your 4th grader?!

Of course I had a moment when I thought – should I be taking notes, too and are they judging me because I’m not? But then I remembered – oh yeah, my daughter is the one responsible for her assignments and quizzes – just like I was when I was her age. I mean, if I do this now, when will it stop? When she’s 12? 15? 18? At what point am I supposed to let her take ownership of her work?

I’ve heard about helicopter parenting and how Generation X’ers (which I’m part of) are guilty of it. But that was in the US. I didn’t realize that I would witness this phenomenon in Venezuela. But then I realized, of course I would. Many Latin American parents expect their children to live with them until they get married. And if they don’t get married, they never leave. I know that this has changed a lot in metropolitan areas, but I know quite a few Caraquenos in their 20’s who live at home. They simply don’t see a reason to move out.

I know that there are many factors to this – economy, limited housing, parents in need of financial support, etc. and I also think that you can live with your parents and still exhibit a sense of independence. However, your parents would have to start instilling these values early on…like before the 4th grade.

So, while I can respect Venezuelans’ (as well as many Americans) penchant to be heavily involved in their children’s lives, I’m going to stick to the agreement I have with my daughter; I will trust her to do what’s right/necessary until she proves otherwise. How do you feel about helicopter parenting?

Don’t know if any of you heard, but a recent Gallup poll placed Venezuela as the 6th country among 124 where people rated their wellbeing. Although I’ve long ago recognized the carefree and low-stress lifestyles that Venezuelans try lead, there appears to be so much political strife that this poll actually shocked me.

In general, Venezuelans take one of two sides of the political spectrum. There are those who are very happy with the current administration and talk about how much better their lives have become since the changes. Others describe the good ol’ days and are devastated by the direction the country has taken. Both groups will not hesitate to tell you how bad crime has gotten; especially in Caracas. In fact, they paint such a bleak picture that you imagine walking into downtown Baghdad. Even with all these negative feelings, 64% of Venezuelans feel that their lives are thriving.

So, have I had the wrong opinion Venezuela this whole time?

Sometimes when the weather is gloomy – which can happen anytime throughout the day – I start to feel like Caracas is a depressing place. Venturing outside of the capitol always feels like shedding the noise, the decaying buildings and shantytowns. Walking around you see a variation of feelings just like in any city. People going about their work day, meeting up with friends or focusing their handheld devices. Crappy weather aside, I think that the atmosphere here can get heavy and maybe that’s why Caraquenos rush off to the beach any chance that they get. But now with the revelation of this poll, I think maybe I’ve let the complaints of both Venezuelans and other expatriates skew my perception…

Now when I walk the streets, I try to view the people going about their day in a different way. if the proof is in the pudding and Venezuelans feel better about their wellbeing than any other country in this hemisphere, I can stand to learn a little something from them.

My daughter answered the phone the other day and the person on the line was speaking French to her. At some point in the conversation, she didn’t understand what was said and answered “Quoi?”, which is the equivalent of “What?” Both of my kids are taught that if I say something to them that they either do not hear or understand, the proper response is “What did you say?” Obviously, my daughter’s phone etiquette is still in the developmental stages.

So, I said to her that it’s impolite to say “Quoi?” when you don’t understand something. The polite response is “Pardon?” or “I beg your pardon?” She said okay and started to walk away. Then something clicked and she turned around to ask me “Why is saying ‘quoi’ impolite?” Oddly enough, I didn’t have the slightest clue.

I then told her that although she thinks that I’ve been alive since the beginning of time – the 1980’s according to her – I don’t know why every single rule was invented. I just follow them…which I suggested she do as well if she wanted her life to be a little easier. I’m all for questioning authority, but I guess when it comes to social norms I take them as they come. This may be because I’ve had to a lot of assimilating in my lifetime and going with the flow is facilitates that much more than fighting the establishment.

Have you ever wondered why certain social customs exist? Did you ever find the answer? If so, please share – a curious 8 year-old will be eternally grateful.

We’re the middle children of history…. no purpose or place.  We have no Great War, no Great Depression.  Our great war is a spiritual war.  Our great depression is our lives.~From the movie Fight Club, about Generation X

Lately I’ve been explaining to people only a few years older than me the reason I use social media. Some have said “if you want to keep in touch with friends, why not just send them an e-mail?” Or, “why would you want to put your life online like that?” These are all valid points, but there’s a whole other justification to social media that I think they’re missing. I should first remind you that I’m part of Generation X, but considered a “straddler” because I’m right at the beginning of the Millennial Generation, as well.

Yes, I of course use my social media accounts to promote this blog, but that really isn’t my main reason for having them. I saw a quote once that said  Facebook is for keeping in touch with people who used to be your friends and Twitter is for meeting people who should be your friends. That statement rings 100% true for me. I have come to look at these accounts as a very unique way of communicating with people.

On Facebook, my friends and I post (for the most part) positive things that are going on in our lives. We are very supportive of each other and it always feels nice to hear from them; even if it’s sporadic. On Twitter, I follow a variety of people – some simply because they’re hilarious. From time to time, we engage in discussions about current events which takes some talent to do in 140 characters or fewer per post. Twitter is where I’ve found other bloggers and expats from whom I’ve learned a great deal and it also provides me with real-time news snippets.

So, the type of relationships that I maintain through my social media accounts is recently created and I have yet to find a suitable label for it. Obviously, I don’t see the people in my networks on a regular basis nor will be going to visit any time soon. Whether or not they fall into any traditional categories of what a “friendship” should be, I’m very glad that technology has created a way for us to remain in each other’s lives.

How do you view social media in terms of relationships?

I’ve already established that Caraqueños are extremely affectionate people. Well, let me first clear up that I don’t personally have an issue with public displays of affection…actually, yes I do. I think it just always makes me feel as though I’m witnessing something private – like a terrible fight. However, it did get me thinking about how Venezuelans interact in romantic relationships. Every time we hang around a Venezuelan couple and they can’t go more than 2 minutes without kissing, I start wondering if they are more passionate than we are. My husband and I didn’t even act like that when we first got together (mostly because it’s just not my thing), so it amazes me that Venezuelans can keep that going after years together.

I think it’s mostly cultural. We (I’m speaking as a Haitian) don’t need all the affection to validate our feelings for each other, but they might. Even though it can make me uncomfortable, I try to think about how they would feel if they felt they had to refrain from touching each other But seriously, what if they’re on to something? What if the excessive petting leads to a stronger relationship? Well, according to this site, the Venezuelan divorce rate is only around 7% while the US is somewhere between 40-50%. Now, I know there are bunch of other factors at play (e.g. infidelity is highly accepted here), but it does make you go “hmmm”.

So, I’ve thought long and hard about this and have come to the conclusion that aside from holding hands and the occasional smooch, I don’t think my husband and I will incorporate incessant public displays of affection into our marriage any time soon. Hey, it works for us