Soon after moving to Caracas, I learned about Third Culture Kids. I was excited to see that there was such an organized group dedicated to bi-cultural kids and it was also refreshing to learn that most of the issues my children would be confronting were already familiar to me. Even though there’s a plethora of information out there for them, there are a few points that I feel are crucial to them becoming happy people.

1) There is no right, wrong or best place to live. Live wherever you want. Wherever gives you warm and fuzzy feelings. Places that terrify you. Or those that make you feel protected.

2) You can have more than one home. While most people think of one place as home, it’s not a rule. It’s perfectly normal to feel attached to several places – even places that you’re visiting for the first time.

3) The quality of your life is strongly linked to your relationships. Living anywhere you want and/or having several homes will most likely mean that you’ll always be living far away from someone about whom you care. That means you’ll have to make an extra effort to maintain those relationships because otherwise you run the risk of turning the road less traveled into a lonely one. So, like plants, water them on a regular basis.

4) Your cultural identity is like your fingerprints. It’s unique to you. Although third-culture kids tend to have a lot in common, how you end up coalescing all the cultures you’ve been exposed to will be like no other. View this difference as you do your fingerprints, it just is. No need to measure it, qualify it or label it.

These four points are pretty broad-based, but I think they offer a good starting point to prevent common frustrations of bi-cultural kids. Can you think of any other advice?

While on a field trip with my little guy’s class a week ago, another mom asked me if I wanted more children. After I secretly gave her the side eye (don’t think Venezuelans understand this gesture), I said “Oh, no.” She has two girls of her own about 5 years apart like mine, but I figured I’d return the question. She said, “Yes, of course. You’re lucky you have one of each. I have two girls and I really want a boy.”

This isn’t the first time I’ve had this sort of conversation with a parent, but it really gets me. When I found out I was having my little guy and people kept saying to me that it’s a good thing because now I have one of each and can be done, I answered “Even if it were a girl, I’d be done.” If I initially planned on birthing more than 2 children, then of course I would’ve kept going. But, even when I dreamed of having kids, I was never stuck on gender. Yes, I wanted two and yes, it would be nice if one were a girl and one were a boy. However, I was not going to keep going until I filled the quota and here’s why: each child is different regardless of gender.

My mom had two girls – my sister and I are night and day. Growing up she was more girly, more responsible (bossy ) and subdued. I was a tomboy, played into the role of baby of the family and talkative. So, even though she had kids of the same gender, her parenting had to adjust drastically in raising the two of us. And that’s what having kids is about right – parenting? So, I think that’s why having a girl or a boy was not a huge deal. I knew that my desire was to simply raise a child – not raise a boy/girl. Am I making sense?

Is gender a big deal for you when it comes to parenting? If so, why?

So, the other day I launched my web browser and saw on the front page of Yahoo an article about how Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas hasn’t spoken for five years. I immediately thought that the title was probably misleading and if I read it there would be some “just kidding” explanation at the end. Throughout the day, the article kept popping back up on my screen through various media outlets. By mid-day, I gave in and read it. I wish I hadn’t…

Can you believe that this man, no this person that is entrusted to interpret the US Constitution has said absolutely nothing for the past five years?! It’s not like he just hasn’t had much of an opinion on ANYTHING (which is even worse);but,  even when he is directly addressed for his thoughts nothing comes out of his mouth. I heard a recording from one of the sessions and let me tell you, it’s awkward! Upon further digging, I read a theory that he is self-conscious about his speaking voice/accent because he grew up speaking Gullah. Apparently, he’s also explained that he doesn’t see a need to ask the presenting lawyers questions because a lot of that is just political posturing. Uuhh, seriously?

I’ll put aside the fact that he and his wife are mired in conflict of interest accusations. I’ll also forget all the controversy that came with his nomination. However, this one just can’t be swept under the rug. I may be exaggerating, but I think this is a pretty important job that requires some pretty important decisions. Therefore, I can’t see how he could make these decisions without asking at least one question. Maybe he reads minds…or maybe he can see into the future and already knows what the answer would be should he decide to open his mouth

Am I overreacting? What do you think of a judge who doesn’t speak?

Fist let me say that this post has taken me a LONG time to write. After getting over the shock that I’m over 30, I had a hard time thinking of ways to improve my already wonderful life. However, I think setting goals are extremely important. Of course if you miss your deadline, then you simply adjust accordingly.

1) Renew my wedding vows: I don’t know about others, but I was so nervous that day I don’t know what the heck I said. I thought watching the video would bring it back, but that’s like watching myself having an out of body experience. Plus, I love the fact that so many people you love (your special people) come together for love. Good times!

2) Live in Europe again: It’s already been 10 years since I lived in France (told you I’m old) and I’d love to experience life there as an adult. I think it would be great for the kids, as well. Maybe when it’s time for them to study abroad they’ll go somewhere more unconventional like Zimbabwe.

3) Travel to India: This goal has to do with the nagging feeling that I was Indian in my past life. ‘Nuff said.

4) Learn Italian: When I realized how learning Spanish was kickin’ my ass a lot more difficult than anticipated, I swore that I was done with languages. Then I remembered that I’ve always loved the sound of Italian and decided, fine one more – but, only for the pleasure of learning it.

5) Go scuba diving: You know, this one I can take or leave. I’ve always thought that I wouldn’t feel comfortable going deep underwater (same way I don’t feel comfortable in confined spaces), but I think I should always try something at least once.

6) Run a marathon: I hate running, but this is an honorable goal, right?

7) Take voice lessons: I’ve been singing since I was a child, but never took it seriously enough have professional assistance. At this point, I’m interested to find out all the unknown things I could do with my voice with the right coaching.

8 ) Become an early riser: I’m hoping that this will get easier with age, but I’m a night-owl and despise waking up early. But, I hear there are interesting things that happen at the crack of dawn that I’ve been missing out on all these years.

9) Write and publish a novel: Obviously I enjoy writing…I just need to commit to it long enough to write a story from start to finish.

10) Attend the World Cup: Look back to my posts from June and you’ll understand.

We’re the middle children of history…. no purpose or place.  We have no Great War, no Great Depression.  Our great war is a spiritual war.  Our great depression is our lives.~From the movie Fight Club, about Generation X

Lately I’ve been explaining to people only a few years older than me the reason I use social media. Some have said “if you want to keep in touch with friends, why not just send them an e-mail?” Or, “why would you want to put your life online like that?” These are all valid points, but there’s a whole other justification to social media that I think they’re missing. I should first remind you that I’m part of Generation X, but considered a “straddler” because I’m right at the beginning of the Millennial Generation, as well.

Yes, I of course use my social media accounts to promote this blog, but that really isn’t my main reason for having them. I saw a quote once that said  Facebook is for keeping in touch with people who used to be your friends and Twitter is for meeting people who should be your friends. That statement rings 100% true for me. I have come to look at these accounts as a very unique way of communicating with people.

On Facebook, my friends and I post (for the most part) positive things that are going on in our lives. We are very supportive of each other and it always feels nice to hear from them; even if it’s sporadic. On Twitter, I follow a variety of people – some simply because they’re hilarious. From time to time, we engage in discussions about current events which takes some talent to do in 140 characters or fewer per post. Twitter is where I’ve found other bloggers and expats from whom I’ve learned a great deal and it also provides me with real-time news snippets.

So, the type of relationships that I maintain through my social media accounts is recently created and I have yet to find a suitable label for it. Obviously, I don’t see the people in my networks on a regular basis nor will be going to visit any time soon. Whether or not they fall into any traditional categories of what a “friendship” should be, I’m very glad that technology has created a way for us to remain in each other’s lives.

How do you view social media in terms of relationships?