The past few weeks have been all about getting used to early mornings again and of course the obligatory parent/teacher meetings (I think we called them “open house” when I was growing up). During the meeting for my daughter, who is in 4th grade now, I noticed something strange…

The teacher was going over the curriculum and the weekly schedule for assignments. She also gave an overview on each subject, as well as how she was going to evaluate them. Every time she mentioned a schedule, I saw parents’ heads go down to write. That’s when I noticed that the majority of them had notepads. What?! You’re taking notes at a parents orientation…for your 4th grader?!

Of course I had a moment when I thought – should I be taking notes, too and are they judging me because I’m not? But then I remembered – oh yeah, my daughter is the one responsible for her assignments and quizzes – just like I was when I was her age. I mean, if I do this now, when will it stop? When she’s 12? 15? 18? At what point am I supposed to let her take ownership of her work?

I’ve heard about helicopter parenting and how Generation X’ers (which I’m part of) are guilty of it. But that was in the US. I didn’t realize that I would witness this phenomenon in Venezuela. But then I realized, of course I would. Many Latin American parents expect their children to live with them until they get married. And if they don’t get married, they never leave. I know that this has changed a lot in metropolitan areas, but I know quite a few Caraquenos in their 20’s who live at home. They simply don’t see a reason to move out.

I know that there are many factors to this – economy, limited housing, parents in need of financial support, etc. and I also think that you can live with your parents and still exhibit a sense of independence. However, your parents would have to start instilling these values early on…like before the 4th grade.

So, while I can respect Venezuelans’ (as well as many Americans) penchant to be heavily involved in their children’s lives, I’m going to stick to the agreement I have with my daughter; I will trust her to do what’s right/necessary until she proves otherwise. How do you feel about helicopter parenting?

My daughter answered the phone the other day and the person on the line was speaking French to her. At some point in the conversation, she didn’t understand what was said and answered “Quoi?”, which is the equivalent of “What?” Both of my kids are taught that if I say something to them that they either do not hear or understand, the proper response is “What did you say?” Obviously, my daughter’s phone etiquette is still in the developmental stages.

So, I said to her that it’s impolite to say “Quoi?” when you don’t understand something. The polite response is “Pardon?” or “I beg your pardon?” She said okay and started to walk away. Then something clicked and she turned around to ask me “Why is saying ‘quoi’ impolite?” Oddly enough, I didn’t have the slightest clue.

I then told her that although she thinks that I’ve been alive since the beginning of time – the 1980’s according to her – I don’t know why every single rule was invented. I just follow them…which I suggested she do as well if she wanted her life to be a little easier. I’m all for questioning authority, but I guess when it comes to social norms I take them as they come. This may be because I’ve had to a lot of assimilating in my lifetime and going with the flow is facilitates that much more than fighting the establishment.

Have you ever wondered why certain social customs exist? Did you ever find the answer? If so, please share – a curious 8 year-old will be eternally grateful.