After the earthquake in Haiti last year, I wrote about how generous I found Venezuelans to be in times of crisis. I hadn’t realized it then, but their generosity goes far beyond that.

In the US, I’m so used to seeing homeless people sitting on the side of the street and acting like I don’t see them. Or at intersections seeing disabled people holding signs asking for money and looking the other way. Even when walking down a street where a struggling artist is playing music with a donation cup in front of him/her, I manage not to look like I don’t notice. People asking for help don’t make me uncomfortable, I’m just so used to seeing them ignored that I easily jumped on the bandwagon. Not in Caracas.

There are people (usually with a disability) who hang around the intersections on our route to the kids’ school. Sometimes when I’m riding in the embassy car, the driver will slow down ahead of the light and hand over whatever loose change he has. Now, I know he’s not raking in the big bucks and yet he still feels the desire to help out. This isn’t once in a while, either. If he reaches the light and it’s red, he reaches in his pocket.

While on the train, you sometimes have small groups of young people playing instruments, singing, rapping or reciting poetry. They don’t hang out at the train stops (I think it’s illegal), but actually ride along with you. The first time I witnessed this, I simply thought “oh, they do that here, too”. What surprised me was as soon as we were arriving at the stop, almost everyone reached in their pockets, purses and wallets to give money. Even if it were only a few Bolivars, it was well received. So guess what? After the 4th time this happened, I reached into my pockets, as well.

These acts of kindness is just one more way Caraqueños break the stereotype of the habits of people in a big city. The best part is my kids see that the norm isn’t to ignore those in need, but to give/do what you can. In turn, another habit I hope to hang on to when our time here is over.

The past few weeks have been all about getting used to early mornings again and of course the obligatory parent/teacher meetings (I think we called them “open house” when I was growing up). During the meeting for my daughter, who is in 4th grade now, I noticed something strange…

The teacher was going over the curriculum and the weekly schedule for assignments. She also gave an overview on each subject, as well as how she was going to evaluate them. Every time she mentioned a schedule, I saw parents’ heads go down to write. That’s when I noticed that the majority of them had notepads. What?! You’re taking notes at a parents orientation…for your 4th grader?!

Of course I had a moment when I thought – should I be taking notes, too and are they judging me because I’m not? But then I remembered – oh yeah, my daughter is the one responsible for her assignments and quizzes – just like I was when I was her age. I mean, if I do this now, when will it stop? When she’s 12? 15? 18? At what point am I supposed to let her take ownership of her work?

I’ve heard about helicopter parenting and how Generation X’ers (which I’m part of) are guilty of it. But that was in the US. I didn’t realize that I would witness this phenomenon in Venezuela. But then I realized, of course I would. Many Latin American parents expect their children to live with them until they get married. And if they don’t get married, they never leave. I know that this has changed a lot in metropolitan areas, but I know quite a few Caraquenos in their 20’s who live at home. They simply don’t see a reason to move out.

I know that there are many factors to this – economy, limited housing, parents in need of financial support, etc. and I also think that you can live with your parents and still exhibit a sense of independence. However, your parents would have to start instilling these values early on…like before the 4th grade.

So, while I can respect Venezuelans’ (as well as many Americans) penchant to be heavily involved in their children’s lives, I’m going to stick to the agreement I have with my daughter; I will trust her to do what’s right/necessary until she proves otherwise. How do you feel about helicopter parenting?