Haitians (in general) eat three meals a day with very little snacking in between. Breakfast is usually something pretty heavy like eggs and boiled plantains or even spaghetti. Kids often have a lighter dish like bread and café au lait (yes, we drink coffee as children) or hot chocolate. The picture below is smoked herring (chiktay in Creole) which is sautéed with onions and hot peppers (we mostly use Scotch bonnet). You can eat this with bread or boiled plantains. I like it so much I can eat it throughout the day as a snack with crackers.

Lunch is a pretty heavy meal, as well. Most dishes will consist of rice and beans in some form and meat. Some people also like to include a vegetable such as yuca, plantains or bread fruit. The dish below is red beans and rice, fried pork and plantains. Fried pork (griyo in Creole) is a very common dish sold by street vendors all over Haiti. It sounds easy to make, but there’s a trick used to prepare it that makes it nearly impossible to replicate at home. I think it has to do with the cut of the meat and the spices used.

Dinner is usually the lightest meal of the day. In my neck of the woods, we never really ate any rice or meat after 6 PM. It’s very common to have a porridge like the one pictured below made from grated plantains (you seeing a theme here) with some toast. Or, we sometimes had hot chocolate with a baguette. I must note that Haitian cuisine is very versatile in terms of porridges which can also be made from yuca, millet, and cornmeal.

This is of course a brief explanation and there’s a whole lot more to Haitian cuisine. Don’t worry, I plan on sharing more in the future ; especially the many uses of some of the vegetables I mentioned here. Any fellow Haitians who eat/ate differently at home, please feel free to share.

If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders. ~Abigail Van Buren

When I was 8 and my sister was 12, my mother would leave us home alone with my sister in charge. Though this may sound crazy to some people nowadays, it had a positive impact on my sister’s maturity. Granted, it was only for short periods of time – while running errands, etc. – but, nothing bad ever happened. I am always saying that each child is different (one size fits all parenting rarely works), so just because it worked for my sister and I doesn’t mean that I in turn would’ve been ready at 12 years-old to babysit a younger sibling.

My soon-to-be 8 year-old daughter is responsible for brushing her teeth, eating breakfast in a timely fashion, getting dressed and ensuring all the things she needs for school are in her backpack. There are good days and there are bad, but I want her to start learning accountability for her actions. If she doesn’t take care of business as she should, there are repercussions.

Even while writing this, I struggle with the feeling that I’m being too harsh. In the picture above taken in Malaysia, the little girl is not only responsible for her sibling, she’s also ensuring that her family has drinking water for the day. Now that is a harsh reality. The thing is, I think that this situation – which is occurs every day all over the world – will make her all the more resilient. Should her financial circumstances improve, she will be much more appreciative of what those born with money take for granted.

I guess as a parent you’re always teetering between what’s too strict and what will put your children on the path to delinquency. We are very fortunate that I don’t have to place the weight of the world on my kids because our livelihood depends on my daughter marrying into the right family or my son getting a better education than her so he can later support us. Because of all the luxuries we have been afforded, I think it’s necessary to continuously place a little more weight until they are all of the following: trustworthy, conscientious and dependable.

After all, isn’t that what a responsible parent does?

Yes, a new American family has moved in and this guy didn’t waste any time getting comfortable. Granted, he was heading to the pool, but that is just something you never see done here. From my first trip here, I noticed how the people on my flight – mainly Venezuelans – were dressed casually, but chic. The men wore nicely fitted jeans with loafers and the women also spruced up their outfits with blouses (as opposed to t-shirts) and accessories. This was a welcomed change because I’ve traveled with Americans who wore pajamas and never understood the rationale behind that.

Which brings me to something people, especially Americans, should be prepared for when visiting Caracas – the effort Venezuelans put into their appearance. Aside from the excessive plastic surgery, Venezuelans look nice everywhere they go. At the supermarket, I never see a woman who looks like they are making a quick stop because they forgot something. Everyone looks as though they got ready to go to the store – makeup and all. It’s nice to look at, but a pain in which to have to take part.

I don’t think I was at all a slob before coming here, but somehow my regular jeans and t-shirt made me stick out like a sore thumb. I didn’t change my entire wardrobe, I just re-coordinated my outfits. For instance, if I am going to wear jeans, I pick a nice blouse and add some accessories. I will never be one to forgo comfort for style, but these changes have been relatively easy and I always feel like I’m a little dressed up.

So, even though the clothes are tighter than what I’m accustomed to, Venezuelans are always impeccably put together and there’s definitely wrong with that.

Photo credits: Selenademi920 and NeoGaboX via Flickr

After I got over the shock of the first person who asked me to help them get to his apartment (he was also legally blind), I realized that I had never been approached to do anything of the sort in the States. Even when I was a teenager and took the bus everywhere, not once did an elderly person ask for assistance. This actually makes me sad. It’s sad because I think senior citizens in the States need just as much help doing every day things as Venezuelans; but, they must be afraid to ask.

While working in human services, I would always hear how the American society does not take care of its most vulnerable – the youngest and the oldest populations. When the going gets tough, programs for young children and the elderly are the first to feel the squeeze. It goes to show how that sort of thinking in government permeates the culture as a whole. So, we’ve become a culture that gets annoyed when children act like children and pretend we don’t see the 80 year-old struggling to get across the street safely.

What I hope is that these experiences will make me more aware of senior citizens silently struggling wherever I am. I also hope that I’m setting a good example for my kids, so that they see it’s not only okay to ask for help, offering it is even better.

1) Speak when you’re spoken to: I know this sounds old school or downright cruel, but it’s an important skill to have as an adult. This in no way means that you aren’t allowed to have your own thoughts and opinions, but you don’t need to offer them to people without solicitation. I think this applies to just about any situation or relationship. Basically, have some self-control over when words come out of your mouth.

2) Always treat your guests like royalty: This means serving them in your best dishes on your nicest platter. I distinctly remember getting in trouble for bringing out water to a guest without any coaster in a regular plastic cup. I had to go back to the kitchen and get an appropriate glass with the necessary accessories. As an adult, I think this lesson helps a lot with making people feel comfortable in a foreign environment (whether it’s in my house or office). People like to feel special and welcomed, so it doesn’t hurt if making them feel that way comes natural to you.

3) Always greet people (uniformly) upon entering a room: It sounds simple enough, but I can’t tell you how many people I’ve worked with who just walk into the office without saying “good morning”. I think it’s such a bad reflection on your manners – but that may be my Haitian side talking. The “uniformly” simply means if you’re going to give a hug to one person, you better give a hug to everybody. That way nobody feels awkward. This can be more of an issue in cultures that greet with kisses, however, if you’re a man and you want to shake hands with the men and give kisses to the women, that’s acceptable.

4) Know how to take care of a home: I think everyone should know how to manage a household (e.g. cook, clean, iron, fix a hem, pay bills, etc.). These things make life a lot easier; especially if you’re living alone. Since you never know where life will take you, don’t let the lack of these basic skills keep you from venturing off on your own.

5) Always respect your elders: This doesn’t mean it’s okay to disrespect peers or those younger than you, but elders hold a special place. These are people who have been around longer than you and even if you don’t agree with what they say, you must still show respect. I’ve seen teenagers cussing out an elderly lady because she asked them to keep the noise down and it was NOT pretty. Also, I think if you are taught when you are little to always respect elders (which is pretty much everybody around you at that point), being respectful becomes a way of life.

These lessons were the ones I felt were most typical of the Haitian culture, but of course I learned a lot more. If any of you Haitian readers have others to add, please do so. For you non-Haitians, do you have any cultural lessons that have helped you with the culture in which you currently live?