I always complain about how strict my parents were when I was growing up, but I really wouldn’t change a thing. I now feel that the limits worked for me and kept me from doing things I wasn’t ready to do anyway. Obviously since I’m of a different generation than my mother (and my children are of a different generation than me), there are things that I will change this time around. Before I write about all the changes, I wanted to give due diligence to some of the things that were right, and I therefore plan to pass on to my children. They are, in no particular order:

1) Speak when you’re spoken to: I know this sounds old school or downright cruel, but it’s an important skill to have as an adult. This in no way means that you aren’t allowed to have your own thoughts and opinions, but you don’t need to offer them to people without solicitation. I think this applies to just about any situation or relationship. Basically, have some self-control over when words come out of your mouth.

2) Always treat your guests like royalty: This means serving them in your best dishes on your nicest platter. I distinctly remember getting in trouble for bringing out water to a guest without any coaster in a regular plastic cup. I had to go back to the kitchen and get an appropriate glass with the necessary accessories. As an adult, I think this lesson helps a lot with making people feel comfortable in a foreign environment (whether it’s in my house or office). People like to feel special and welcomed, so it doesn’t hurt if making them feel that way comes natural to you.

3) Always greet people (uniformly) upon entering a room: It sounds simple enough, but I can’t tell you how many people I’ve worked with who just walk into the office without saying “good morning”. I think it’s such a bad reflection on your manners – but that may be my Haitian side talking. The “uniformly” simply means if you’re going to give a hug to one person, you better give a hug to everybody. That way nobody feels awkward. This can be more of an issue in cultures that greet with kisses, however, if you’re a man and you want to shake hands with the men and give kisses to the women, that’s acceptable.

4) Know how to take care of a home: I think everyone should know how to manage a household (e.g. cook, clean, iron, fix a hem, pay bills, etc.). These things make life a lot easier; especially if you’re living alone. Since you never know where life will take you, don’t let the lack of these basic skills keep you from venturing off on your own.

5) Always respect your elders: This doesn’t mean it’s okay to disrespect peers or those younger than you, but elders hold a special place. These are people who have been around longer than you and even if you don’t agree with what they say, you must still show respect. I’ve seen teenagers cussing out an elderly lady because she asked them to keep the noise down and it was NOT pretty. Also, I think if you are taught when you are little to always respect elders (which is pretty much everybody around you at that point), being respectful becomes a way of life.

These lessons were the ones I felt were most typical of the Haitian culture, but of course I learned a lot more. If any of you Haitian readers have others to add, please do so. For you non-Haitians, do you have any cultural lessons that have helped you with the culture in which you currently live?

You know the stereotype that Latin American women love to wear tight clothes?

Well, it’s alive and well in Caracas. The pair of pants in this picture here are actually considered loose in comparison to what I see women wear every day on the streets. Even women wearing professional suits look like they picked two sizes too small – and I mean I think they really do.

I was recently in Sabana Grande, which is considered a pretty large shopping district (similar to Lower Manhattan sans skyscrapers) in Caracas. I spotted a nice pair of pants and asked to try them on. I didn’t realize the sizes here run smaller and as soon as I got the pants on, I knew I needed the next size up. When I came out show my mom that they were too small, everyone else in the joint started saying they were perfect. I said, “Uuhh no, they’re too small – the material is tugging at the zipper.” The employees said “No, they’re supposed to be that way.” Right…

The men also wear fitting clothes; more so than the men in the States. However, living in South Florida for seven years, I got used to men dressing differently.

Considering that I wouldn’t wear pants as tight as this picture, I guess I’m a bit of an outcast. I think clothes should be trendy, but they should especially flatter the person wearing them. Extremely tight clothes do not flatter anyone most people. But of course, to each his/her own and I just have to get used to being out of fashion while I’m here.