This time I told her that the person went to heaven. That immediately brought on the questions about what heaven was like, did she now have wings, does she hang out with the angels, etc. I answered as many questions as I could and eventually referred her to her trusty Bible.

In terms of the Haitian culture, there are various ways parents handle telling children about death. Some ignore it completely thinking that the child will eventually forget about the person. Others announce the news indirectly by their own grieving or overheard conversations. I was about my daughter’s age (8 years-old) when my mother first started telling me about people going to heaven. Since I have no recollection of being scared afterwards, I think it was the right time.

My daughter handled this sad news pretty well. She told me she felt sad and later drew a picture of the person in heaven dancing on clouds. I’m going to assume for now that this approach was more conducive to her personality

How do you handle talking to children about death? Do you have any cultural norms or have you developed your own? Do you remember the first time you were told about death?

I’ve decided to test this theory by looking back (as well as my memory serves) at the problems that I had last year to see if they have any relevance now.

Haiti’s earthquake: I can’t say that this is completely irrelevant now, but a lot of the things I was worried about last year have sorted themselves out. We were very fortunate to have not lost any friends or family and no belongings sustained any damage. It was a question of waiting to hear about people every time we heard about an aftershock. By April, we started to hear less about the earth shaking and people started getting back to their routines.

Housing: Last March we were really looking into moving from our first apartment. We were having a difficult time because housing prices had doubled since my husband arrived 6 months prior. To top it off, there weren’t a lot of options in the area. I recall finding one we really liked even though it was a little far from stores, the kids school, etc. and the landlord pulled out at the last minute. At that point, we decided whatever will be, will be. Within a month, we found the apartment that we currently live in which is much more conveniently located and cheaper. So, this one gets a check…

Employment: One of my biggest concerns before moving here was whether or not I’d be able to find work in my field. I was assured by many that I would, but my gut was telling me otherwise. Well, by this time last year I started to realize that my gut was right and it would be a long road to full-time work. Well, I’m still unemployed, but the difference is I’ve completely accepted that it’s not going to happen here and have since come up with a plan (which will be revealed at a later date ). I’d give this one a check, as well.

Learning Spanish: I wasn’t stressing myself a whole bunch about this last year, but I knew I wanted to feel a lot more comfortable going out on my own. I didn’t see much improvement by simply immersing myself and was always getting tripped up on grammar. I eventually found this course at the French Alliance and May will make it one year. As I mentioned, we’ve shifted into intensive format and I’m amazed at how much progress I’ve made (yes, I’m patting myself on the back). Even though this is a work in progress, it definitely gets a check!

So what, that’s 3 out of 4 – not bad. What do you think about this theory? Have you found it to be true for your stressful phases?

4 or more – I’m a global citizen.  38%

1 – I’m a simple person.  23%

3 – It’s a long story.  23%

2 – I had two parents didn’t I?  15%

So, I guess it’s no surprise that the majority of readers identify with four or more cultures. What am I saying – that’s crazy!!! I thought I had a hard time managing 3…I can’t imagine what it would be like to add a fourth to the mix. For those of you who chose this, I would LOVE to hear more about your experiences and any advice you have on staying sane

I did have a better response with this poll, so it’s definitely something I’ll be doing more of in the future.

Happy weekend!!!

Me: Are Mrs. C. and Mr. C. were related?

Her: I don’t think so.

Me: Why not? They have the same last name.

Her: Well, Mrs. C. is brown and Mr. C. is pink.

Me: Oh, okay.

Now, I have gone out of my way to keep her from using the societal labels of black or white, so everyone is either pink or some shade of brown. I was glad to see that her impressionable mind still hadn’t been tainted, but I also wanted her to know that people within the same family can be different shades; heck, even different colors.

So, the conversation ended like this:

Me: It doesn’t matter if they are different colors. They can still be family.

Her: WHAT!

Me: Yup. They can be brother and sister, cousins, or husband and wife.

Her: I don’t think they’re married.

Me: thinking *I’m not going to go there right now* Okay, well maybe they’re related in some other way.

Her: Maybe you’re right. I’m going to ask them today.

*sigh* I guess at some point I’m going to have a more in depth conversation with her about race. But until then, brown Mrs. C and pink Mr. C will have to do

At what age do you think it is appropriate to explain American race relations to children?

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June 2009: Took the Foreign Service Officer Test (FSOT)

July 2009: Notified that I passed the FSOT and needed to submit my Personal Narrative Questionnaire (PNQ) within three weeks

July 2009: Submitted my PNQ’s

September 2009: Notified that I was invited to the Oral Assessment (OA) and had 30 days to schedule

September 2009: Picked February to take the OA

I’m sure the next logical question is: how does this all fit in to your plan of moving to Caracas?

Hmmm, it doesn’t. Well, sort of…

The plan is, if I pass the OA in February, my Top Secret Security Clearance can take anywhere from 6 weeks to 6 months (sometimes 1 year) and given the amount of traveling I have done, I am banking on at least 6 months. That takes us to August 2010. Then, if I make it past adjudications, I will then be placed on the register waiting to be called for the next A-100 class (orientation for all Foreign Service Officers). At that point, I have the option of being asked to be placed on the Do Not Call list for up to 12 months; therefore, potentially being called off the register in August 2011. By then, we will have been in Caracas almost two years and will consider our options at that time.

Why the self-induced torture? I think I went through the process 1) for the experience and 2) to keep our options open. Makes sense, right?

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