1) There is no right, wrong or best place to live. Live wherever you want. Wherever gives you warm and fuzzy feelings. Places that terrify you. Or those that make you feel protected.

2) You can have more than one home. While most people think of one place as home, it’s not a rule. It’s perfectly normal to feel attached to several places – even places that you’re visiting for the first time.

3) The quality of your life is strongly linked to your relationships. Living anywhere you want and/or having several homes will most likely mean that you’ll always be living far away from someone about whom you care. That means you’ll have to make an extra effort to maintain those relationships because otherwise you run the risk of turning the road less traveled into a lonely one. So, like plants, water them on a regular basis.

4) Your cultural identity is like your fingerprints. It’s unique to you. Although third-culture kids tend to have a lot in common, how you end up coalescing all the cultures you’ve been exposed to will be like no other. View this difference as you do your fingerprints, it just is. No need to measure it, qualify it or label it.

These four points are pretty broad-based, but I think they offer a good starting point to prevent common frustrations of bi-cultural kids. Can you think of any other advice?

This isn’t the first time I’ve had this sort of conversation with a parent, but it really gets me. When I found out I was having my little guy and people kept saying to me that it’s a good thing because now I have one of each and can be done, I answered “Even if it were a girl, I’d be done.” If I initially planned on birthing more than 2 children, then of course I would’ve kept going. But, even when I dreamed of having kids, I was never stuck on gender. Yes, I wanted two and yes, it would be nice if one were a girl and one were a boy. However, I was not going to keep going until I filled the quota and here’s why: each child is different regardless of gender.

My mom had two girls – my sister and I are night and day. Growing up she was more girly, more responsible (bossy ) and subdued. I was a tomboy, played into the role of baby of the family and talkative. So, even though she had kids of the same gender, her parenting had to adjust drastically in raising the two of us. And that’s what having kids is about right – parenting? So, I think that’s why having a girl or a boy was not a huge deal. I knew that my desire was to simply raise a child – not raise a boy/girl. Am I making sense?

Is gender a big deal for you when it comes to parenting? If so, why?

Lately I’ve been explaining to people only a few years older than me the reason I use social media. Some have said “if you want to keep in touch with friends, why not just send them an e-mail?” Or, “why would you want to put your life online like that?” These are all valid points, but there’s a whole other justification to social media that I think they’re missing. I should first remind you that I’m part of Generation X, but considered a “straddler” because I’m right at the beginning of the Millennial Generation, as well.

Yes, I of course use my social media accounts to promote this blog, but that really isn’t my main reason for having them. I saw a quote once that said  Facebook is for keeping in touch with people who used to be your friends and Twitter is for meeting people who should be your friends. That statement rings 100% true for me. I have come to look at these accounts as a very unique way of communicating with people.

On Facebook, my friends and I post (for the most part) positive things that are going on in our lives. We are very supportive of each other and it always feels nice to hear from them; even if it’s sporadic. On Twitter, I follow a variety of people – some simply because they’re hilarious. From time to time, we engage in discussions about current events which takes some talent to do in 140 characters or fewer per post. Twitter is where I’ve found other bloggers and expats from whom I’ve learned a great deal and it also provides me with real-time news snippets.

So, the type of relationships that I maintain through my social media accounts is recently created and I have yet to find a suitable label for it. Obviously, I don’t see the people in my networks on a regular basis nor will be going to visit any time soon. Whether or not they fall into any traditional categories of what a “friendship” should be, I’m very glad that technology has created a way for us to remain in each other’s lives.

How do you view social media in terms of relationships?

From afar, I’ve been watching this immigration bill unfold amongst Arizona immigrants, as well as the Federal Government’s reaction. One of things that has struck me as odd is that they have debated this issue as Latino problem. I may have missed it, but I have yet to see a black immigrant speaking about immigration reform and what it means to them. I know that Latinos outnumber us (heck, they outnumber Caucasians in some states), but why does it seem we are weak faction of this movement? Where are the representatives from the Caribbean and sub-Saharan African countries? From what I understood, they were facing just as many obstacles to obtain legal documentation.

Now, I’m not trying to divide immigrants by singling out blacks because we all have the same issues. However, I think it’s important that we fight just as hard or even harder for fair immigration reform. Otherwise, should we expect to reap the benefits?

I have always been a homebody. In high school, my strict (very Haitian) parents  would not let me go out as much as my friends did, so I fought against them just because…well, I was a teenager. When I got to college and was able to go out whenever I wanted, I tried it for a while and got tired of it. It made me tired for classes, plus I was also holding down a job. Regardless of the circumstances, I knew that home sounded a lot better to me than a night out on the town. For starters, my favorite pastime is reading – where better to read than your most comfortable couch?

Fast-forward many years and now I have babies. These babies LOVE to be out. If they even sense that you may be going out, they rush to put on their shoes and go wait by the door. It’s crazy. I’m convinced that they inherited this trait from my husband since he also loves being out and about.

Which leads to the issue of me at my happiest in my home and them not so much. I have to remind myself that they need to go out, sort of like a plant needs water I also realize that there is so much for them to see and we won’t be here forever. Now that it’s summer, it’s the best time for us to explore all that Caracas has to offer and I try to, but I know we could probably be out more. The worst is that even when my husband offers to take them out, my heart breaks a little. I wonder why they can’t be like me and instead of wanting to go to see that new park, choose to stay home and cuddle with mommy. It’s selfish, I know, but I’m still hopeful that it’s a phase they’ll outgrow…

Do your children have any preferences that are opposite of yours? How do you deal with it? Or, do you remember wanting the complete opposite of what your parents wanted? Please share your stories.