There are other variations of the dish – sometimes they put a fried egg right in the middle – but, my personal favorite is with sliced avocadoes. I think the trick is finding a place that prepares it with a lot of flavor and is willing to make slight adjustments based on your preferences. According to some Venezuelans, you cannot say you’ve visited here without trying this dish

The teacher was going over the curriculum and the weekly schedule for assignments. She also gave an overview on each subject, as well as how she was going to evaluate them. Every time she mentioned a schedule, I saw parents’ heads go down to write. That’s when I noticed that the majority of them had notepads. What?! You’re taking notes at a parents orientation…for your 4th grader?!

Of course I had a moment when I thought – should I be taking notes, too and are they judging me because I’m not? But then I remembered – oh yeah, my daughter is the one responsible for her assignments and quizzes – just like I was when I was her age. I mean, if I do this now, when will it stop? When she’s 12? 15? 18? At what point am I supposed to let her take ownership of her work?

I’ve heard about helicopter parenting and how Generation X’ers (which I’m part of) are guilty of it. But that was in the US. I didn’t realize that I would witness this phenomenon in Venezuela. But then I realized, of course I would. Many Latin American parents expect their children to live with them until they get married. And if they don’t get married, they never leave. I know that this has changed a lot in metropolitan areas, but I know quite a few Caraquenos in their 20’s who live at home. They simply don’t see a reason to move out.

I know that there are many factors to this – economy, limited housing, parents in need of financial support, etc. and I also think that you can live with your parents and still exhibit a sense of independence. However, your parents would have to start instilling these values early on…like before the 4th grade.

So, while I can respect Venezuelans’ (as well as many Americans) penchant to be heavily involved in their children’s lives, I’m going to stick to the agreement I have with my daughter; I will trust her to do what’s right/necessary until she proves otherwise. How do you feel about helicopter parenting?

I think any American who has been abroad will tell you that other people don’t smile as much as we do. Not in the sense of being happy; but, as a way to acknowledge someone without actually speaking. The other day I walked by a classroom and saw a French teacher – whom I know – standing at the blackboard. I, of course instinctively smiled at him in an effort to not disrupt the class and at the same time say hello. He said “bonjour!”. I thought, well that wasn’t necessary. He could’ve just smiled and I would’ve interpreted that as “hello”. Then I thought, does he think I’m rude for not speaking and simply smiling?

Overall, Venezuelans do the same thing. When I walk past a parent at the kids’ school, they mostly say “hola” or “buenas”. No one simply smiles. At first I kept thinking how much easier it is to smile. But when you think about it, not really. A forced smile is very obvious. To make your smile count, you have to mean it. Plus, a smile can mean so many things. It can say “your child is adorable” or “that parent is being inappropriate, but what are you gonna do?”. I think I’ve actually had entire conversations with a smile. And because I’ve lived in a culture that encourages this sort of communication, it has become second nature.

Now that I’m not able to use it effectively, I’m sad. Even worse, how are my kids ever going to become experts in communicating without words? Words are great, but they can sometimes be overrated, no? You know this is one cultural norm that I’m not willing to give up as an expat – so, when they see the quiet, smiling lady they can go ahead and label me the crazy American!

One moment of patience may ward off great disaster.  One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life. ~Chinese Proverb

I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to write about this, but Venezuelans have an amazing ability to form and stand in line – otherwise known as the cola.The idea to finally write about this phenomenon came after I recently saw people standing in line to get on an elevator. Yes, an elevator. I saw about 10 people in the line and had to do a double-take to make sure that there wasn’t something being handed out. Every morning when I’m taking the kids to school, you can see lines 30 to 40 people deep waiting for buses. I’m always impressed by the patience Venezuelans show when waiting and it’s probably because they know that eventually, they’ll get their turn.

What’s so interesting about these colas is that often no one has to ask that they be formed. In the US, there are places you go that have signs indicating  where the line starts, as well as a roped off area to help make sure the line remains orderly – completely unnecessary here. I remember discussing this with a friend who is also a foreigner and she said it’s so ingrained that if she’s standing talking with more than one person, someone will inevitably come up and ask “aqui esta la cola?” or “is the line here?”. So, it’s as if it’s become an inherent part of the culture.

I noticed that my kids have started picking up on this, too. I couldn’t believe my eyes when my little guy (3 years-old) stood patiently in line for 20 minutes to have his face painted by Spiderman at a party. While I will probably never enjoy standing in line, I can appreciate that they’re being given this subtle lesson in patience…Lord knows their generation needs it.

I would like to first preface my observations with stating that I am a part of Generation X. What this means is that I’ve had a healthy dose of women’s lib and while we want it all, we know we have to work for it. This is in contrast to the Millennial Generation (or Generation Y) who wants it all, right now and who is said to be more accepting of women marrying for social gain. I didn’t make it up people – it’s what the researchers are saying.

Now, women’s liberation means different things depending on the culture. From an American viewpoint, it appears that women here are much more open about their sexuality. While I think this is a good thing (part of women’s lib, right), I think there’s an appropriate time to communicate this. For instance, I often see professional women wearing extremely tight suits showing lots of cleavage. I don’t care what anybody says, that’s distracting. If you want people to pay attention to the words coming out of your mouth, you wouldn’t wear a big read clown hat, would you?

In terms of heterosexual romantic relationships, it seems they have a different idea about monogamy. Men often refer to “casa grande” and “casa chica” – the former the house where your wife lives and the latter the house where your mistress lives. If this culturally acceptable, I can understand that. However, it is only fair if women have the same privileges and I don’t think that’s the case.

Another place I’ve noticed a gender-biased is at certain restaurants and cafes. On several occasions, I have arrived at a restaurant earlier than a friend I was meeting (who happened to be male) and they will not offer me a menu until he arrives. At first I thought they were being presumptuous and assumed I was meeting someone, but my male friend has the complete opposite experience. This doesn’t happen everywhere, but when it does I’m always surprised.

I’m sure that there’s a lot more to gender relations here and when/if I enter the workforce, I’ll be sure to share that aspect, as well.